A quick review

Every year we start with the same words: "Have a happy and prosperous new year, may this one be your best yet". Well I can tell you that 2011 was bloody awful, for me at least. Too many feelings of loneliness, too many days of desperation, too much pain and too much despair. People tend to think, because of my sunny disposition, that things are always going great for me. 2011 definitely proved otherwise. Of course it's not to say that every day was bad, but too much was. I'll come to the highlights in a bit. It's been a year of learning though. I've learned that I have to make it happen - whatever 'it' is. Friends are essential, support is vital, but ultimately I have to do the work. I've also learned that people come and go, far more frequently than we might think. I have friends today (very close friends) who I didn't know this time last year. I have had very close friends move out of my circle and go in a different direction. I have hurt people this year and been thoughtless, at times. Equally I helped people to grow beyond where they thought they could possibly be.

What have I learned?

I have learned that I am the great survivor. I have friends who have lost their businesses in 2011. I had one friend lose his life. At times I thought I might lose my mind and others where I lost respect. I also gained though. I gained understanding. I gained experience. I gained insight. I have seen what works and I realised that what I thought would work was wrong. Since September my year began turning around. It was no coincidence that I began to work with an entirely new group of people and left old allegiances behind. It was no coincidence that I worked on core techniques and principles. It was no coincidence that I relied more on myself and worked very, very hard.

How is 2012 going to look?

What do I hope for in 2012? First of all I want more certainty. In my personal life, in my business life, with my family and with my health. In my personal life I want to refocus on the fairy tale. The one of true love and commitment. I know it's possible and I'm going to work towards achieving it. My business is in a time of great opportunity, it began building in September and has grown throughout the final third of the year. My family has more certainty and more direction. My health has been the one overwhelming highlight of the year. If you're reading this and thoughts are triggering in your mind about how you want 2012 to look then I hope you're evaluating 2011 first. What was good? What was awful? What would would you like to do again and what do you want to avoid?

My highlights were these. What about yours?

My favourite day of the whole year was 2nd July - the day I went to see the Foo Fighters at Milton Keynes Bowl. The company was great, the weather was perfect and the music was fantastic. Who would believe that Milton Keynes could be so good? I also went to see Imelda May in March and Hans Zimmer at the strangest, but fun, day of the year at the Kung Fu Panda extravaganza at Althorp. There was the memorable business meeting in a McDonald's that rescued my year, as well as my education in social media. Moving into the house where I now live was great and moving out of the house of ghosts was necessary. Learning about dress sense and style was invaluable as was my education in barefoot running and the Tarahumara. Another highlight was my talk at the Business Club in Kettering on 8th August - one of the best talks I've ever done, great crowd and the bonus of two of my friends playing piano at the end.

The Challenge

Here then is your challenge. What did you learn? What did you do wrong? What went well? Who did you love? Who did you fall out with? Where are you going? Who do you want? What do you want? What are you willing to do to get what you desire? This game of life is one to be played wisely; it's hard to know where we'll end up. We can set all the goals in the world, but we must have the burning desire to see them achieved. When other people are involved it's vital that they share your vision whether it's the fairytale or the same vision. When you get it all right the magic begins; keeping it going that's the challenge. Why did I call this 'turn it on again'? Because it's time to turn the magic back on. Chase the dream, live the life, achieve the goals and wake up and do it all again. May 2012 be kind to you and may you be kind to yourself.

The quest for true love

Do you believe in perfect love? I have a theory. I often ask a person if they've seen 'The Princess Bride'; if they have, and many have, I then ask did they like it. Most do, occasionally someone won't; I struggle to understand how anyone can't. It's got humour, swordfights, treachery, excitement, great story telling and true love. I think that's what we all crave and yet it's so hard to find. If someone doesn't like 'The Princess Bride' then I wonder if they understand the concept of true love. I know it's simplistic and a man of my age should know better, but I think I'm an idealist.

It really does begin with a kiss

The most popular blog I've written over the last couple of years has been 'the touch of a kiss'. You may have even been kind enough to have read it. That seemed to reach people in a way that much of my writing hasn't. Was it particularly well written? That's not for me to say, but there was clearly a link that people were making about a kiss and passion. I'm glad because that's what I set out to to do. To stimulate and have a reader feel that first touch of passion and hope for the future. What happens when we get it wrong? Have you ever been in love with someone and you knew they didn't love you? What do you do? Do you stumble on like the love sick fool you feel you are or do you cut free and know that person is gone forever? What about where love once was and now, for one of you, it has faded and for the other it burns brighter than ever? Is this when the person in love is simply terrified to lose that which they once had?

Making it last

Love is indeed, a passing thing. So what of the lovely old couples who stay together? My mum and step-father are coming up to 40 years of marriage; I know for a fact it's been a long, tough road, but I'd hazard to say that they still love each other. Why is it that my longest relationship lasted 13 years? Is it because times have changed? We simply don't expect to stay together forever anymore or is it that we forget to work at it? The immediacy of someone else is so much easier to find, thanks to a transient population and Facebook. Did you ever leave someone and a year later wonder why you didn't stay with them? I know that many break ups happen for good reasons, but some relationships really should survive. I know I've had a couple that should have either stayed the distance or at least lasted longer than they did.

The Rubik's Cube of love

Love is so hard to find. Sometimes you love someone and they don't love you. Another time someone will love you and you don't love them. Sometimes you may go out with someone for a short while and you both know that it will never work. Finally there is the true sadness. The relationship where you know you both love each other and yet you can't make the it work. Pride steps in the way or you can't see the future together until you look back from the past with a sad backward glance and ask 'why didn't I try harder?' Love really may start with a kiss, but it's the heart that makes the passion and the head that sees the future. I included the video from 'Love Actually' because it sums up, in two minutes or so, exactly what I feel sometimes. Sometimes I'm the guy and sometimes I'm the girl - from the clip. Trying to find the right combination, one which will last, is a life's work. What I thought I knew I no longer know and what I know changes. It doesn't stop me seeking it or believing it, but some days are a little harder than others.